This isn't my usual stuff and it sort of reads as an elementary school report because it is about a cat, but it has been swimming around in my head this week so here goes...
I have always loved animals over people. The unconditional love and loyalty is amazing. My pets were my number one love in life...that is until I had a child.
|Miss Nutty and Inky - 2004|
I think sometimes being an adult sucks, and making the decision to let go of a pet is probably the suckiest I have had to deal with and I have immense guilt even though I know deep down that it was the right thing to do.
I had to make that decision for Miss Nutty on Tuesday. My memory has escaped me for the date that I had gotten her. I want to say it was the year 2000ish. She was a little gray tabby with huge ears that came from a litter of barn cats. At the time we thought she was a he and named her "Mr. Nutty" after the snowman in the Pokey the Penguin web comic. Man, looking at these "comics" brings back simplistic hilarity. If you are not familiar with Pokey the Penguin, you can check out the Wiki and search for the comic. I could not get the yellow5 page to load so I am not even sure if they are still out there.
Anyhow, after the first vet visit we found out that our Mr. was a Miss...so Miss Nutty she became. She was a fun cat. She was pretty smart and learned to play fetch just like my dog Oscar (who I lost in 2007).
|Miss Nutty, Inky, and Wicket - 2007|
|Miss Nutty, Inky, and Oscar - 2007|
Miss Nutty was always a friendly cat and never had a problem with any other animals that came to visit or stay. She did however develop a problem with kidney stones and had a surgery in 2006 to remove one the size of an almond (which the vet said was quite rare in female cats..so of course I would have a pet with a rarity). Special food was on the menu from then on. It seems that became the start of her downhill journey.
When I was pregnant in 2008/2009 she developed a severe allergy to fleas. Not that I like having fleas in the house, but it happens when you have a dog that goes in and out AND have a neighbor that has an overgrown yard and excess number of dogs...so the occasional flea would get in. She actually clawed/chewed a hole in her side to the muscle. So then the war on fleas started. Soon after that incident, she started to have issues getting around. It seemed like she was having issues with her hips and she didn't seem totally right in the head. She couldn't get to her litter box in the basement quick enough and messes started happening. Anyone who has been pregnant knows the fear of toxoplasmosis. My husband worked late nights so it was me dealing with the mess. Imagine a pregnant woman wearing a face mask and gloves cleaning up cat messes.
|Miss Nutty and Dot 2009|
Making the decision to let go was hard. There is no checklist to let you know you are making the right decision. Why isn't there a hotline to call so that someone else is making the decision?. Calling the vet to find out when I could bring her in, blubbering on the phone while getting details. Eek, the car ride there with her meowing. Blubbering in the vets office (thank goodness they just ushered me into a room right away). The leaving with the empty pet carrier...then the eerily quiet car ride home. I spent the evening crying - shit, I am crying now. This I guess is what helped me along to the sinus infection I have. I think the cold I was fighting off did not have a chance once my emotions flooded and clogged my sinuses. So now I have spent a few days laying in bed and coughing up my lungs.
Yesterday I received a card from my veterinarian with the nicest hand-written note that made the waterworks start again. I guess it was sort of bad timing with this being the first Valentine's Day since my path changed and it being a day where my child was with his father. I know there have been worse Valentine's Days in the history of the world...fortunately I had my queue of bad movies and friends online to help me get through these last few days.