Sunday, October 21, 2012

I'm still alive...

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned," -- William Congreve

It has been a week since I have posted.  I know you were worried if I was still alive - or maybe you were not, but either way these words here assure you that I am alive.

I am not going to go into details...but I will say that it has been an emotional two weeks.  VERY emotional.

It is funny how in situations like this, some things just aren't important at all anymore.  Halloween is my favorite holiday and I tell you, if I hadn't already decorated and done the crafts that I did...well, I just don't think I would have.  I had a few other projects planned that were scrapped, maybe next year on those.

Even though Halloween is not something that I am even caring about right now, I still have to make a Halloween costume for the most important person in my life.  The toddler wants to be a scary ghost.  I could make him just about any crazy thing he would want to be and he wants to be a ghost.   So the plan today is to work out how I will do this where it isn't just a sheet with holes...because he isn't going to like that.

I am sure that sometime soon I will get back to my usual blogging self, but...
Until then, think of me as a phoenix rising from the ashes and thank you for all the blog love and support.


Sunday, October 14, 2012

Texting 1, 2, 3...

So, as you can imagine after the blog post the other day, I received quite a lot of traffic on here.  I would say the bulk of my posts have had about 25 views.  Yeah, there a few where a search of a popular word would find my blog (like the bath salt zombie incident, or YOLO - which is still #1 btw)...

Well, the Oct 12 post has 117 views and jumped to #2 in the all time views...

I bet you can also imagine that I had a LOT of people texting, emailing, calling, chatting, messaging, etc once that post went up.  It made it so much easier that everyone already had the same information as to what happened instead of having to explain myself over and over.

But in all the texting, I received a text and email from Verizon that I had never seen before...
Details as of: 10/12/12 11:42 AM EDTThe mobile number above has used approximately 50% of the monthly messaging allowance for the bill cycle ending on the 15th. The messaging allowance will reset on the 16th.
What?  Seriously?  I have never gotten this alert before.  Really? Have I been texting that much?  Oh well, 50%, there are only a few more days on the billing cycle...and then it happened...
Details as of: 10/13/12 10:27 AM EDTThe mobile number above has used approximately 75% of the monthly messaging allowance for the bill cycle ending on the 15th. The messaging allowance will reset on the 16th.
Whaaaa? Not even 24 hours later and I used 25% more of my messaging allowance?  Damn.  I am guessing I will be over the first time ever.

I guess I need more of my people to be in my network!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Broken beyond repair...

A discovery was made early early Monday morning that has changed everything...and I am not talking about Columbus and his discovery of a land that already was there..

But I am now in undiscovered territory and I don't have a map!  

That proverb that says "You can't have your cake and eat it too" comes to mind.  I think it is supposed to mean you can't be greedy...but a geekier idiom for the situation is "You can't keep your family action figures mint in box while you play with your slutty slut whore home-wrecker doll."

Sure, it probably isn't nice to call her a slutty slut whore home-wrecker...because it does take two to have a relationship that destroys a family....but it does make me feel better.  Maybe I should call him the "Selfish Asshole who doesn't think once about his child, wife, or their lives that he will be altering" action figure to even it up.  That is kind of a wordy name though and probably wont fit on the box.  It should be noted that this figure does not come with a brain.  Oh, and I was going to try and not be bitter or angry in this post.  Aw shucks. 

There is so much in this situation that I don't know what to do with.  Of course one thing is, should I even be sharing this with the world?  This blog was started as a diary and creative outlet where I could share my thoughts on things that bother me and share ideas with people...but when is my sharing too much?  Most of my friends and family have been notified of the situation and the rest of the world will be too once that relationship status on Facebook is changed....which I am guessing the "it's complicated" works just as good for this situation as anything else since there are so many unknowns...EEK...I am not looking forward to dealing with the questions that will arise from that - but I know I don't want to pretend that everything is fine.  I don't think there is enough medication for that.

I don't know how much I will be posting here for a while.  Not sure that I will feel like it or even if I will have time as it appears I will be working more...I had some posts started and crafts planned which have been scrapped.

Shit, now I have to come up with something else to be for Halloween...the couple costume that I had in mind just wont be the same with one person.  I have had that costume in mind for nearly a year!
I am going to try and be positive though and hold my head up high.  I am going to try really hard and not be hateful and bitter (which is going to be a struggle for me because there is so much to be angry about).  I hope I get an Oscar nomination for my performances.

Here are some pros to it just being the toddler and me living here...

  • My small house now seems the perfect size for me and my toddler
  • Less dishes to wash
  • I don't have to adjust the shower head because it is aimed for a person that is a foot taller than me
  • More room in the medicine cabinet
  • All those extra dishes will find a new home
  • I will have lots more closet space
  • My small bedroom will have lots more room once some of the furniture moves away
  • Less laundry to deal with
  • No fighting over the driveway
  • I get to hog the whole bed...of course I shared my bed last night with all the extra pillows, a laptop, two cats, and a dog...so a little limited on space.
..Of course there are so many cons to this situation...which believe me, I have thought about and cried over the last week.

Thank you to my friends and family for your love, support, and understanding.  Knowing that you are there for me helps me to be strong.  

I know you will want to call me and talk with me, but please understand that I will most likely not respond as I am trying to be as normal as I can for my child.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Your Name in a Pumpkin

Yes, another Halloween craft.  It most likely will not be the last either...

I am using the craft pumpkins for this but you could certainly do this with a real pumpkin.  Imagine customizing one or two with your name/address if you put them out in front of your house.

Michael's will custom carve your craft pumpkin for a fee if you don't want to go through the hassle...but for WAY less than that price you can buy the pumpkin on sale (or use a coupon) and do it yourself.
You will need the pumpkin, a template (you can download and print oodles of free templates), blank piece of paper, sharpie, pencil, scissors, tape, and something to carve your pumpkin (I am using the carving knives from a carving kit, but you could use an exacto knife if you wanted).
Take your blank piece of paper and trace the nose and mouth shapes from the template.  In the mouth space is where you will be drawing out your name.  I am making this one for my nephew, Reid.  Figure out what the center of your name is and work out from there. You will line up the nose you traced with the nose on the template and tape together.  Cut out all the shapes.
Center and tape to your pumpkin.  Then use your sharpie to trace around your stencil.  Then cut out.  I find it is easier to cut out the nose first, that way you can stick your fingers in to help support when you are sawing the more delicate areas of your design.
Don't forget to cut a little hole in the back for your lighting of choice.  I am using a little battery operated tea light.
 I made these two years ago for my son and my niece (Reid is her brother).  I used Halloween colored light strings when I did these.
and I made this one last year for my other niece.  This one also is using the battery powered tea light.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Potty Training...

These are all the clothes from yesterday afternoon that are the casualties of potty training...

Potty training should really be called potty retraining.  I am going through this with the toddler and man, it is NOT FUN.  My kid is stubborn...and why shouldn't he be?  He was taught from birth that it was okay to poop and pee and sit in it until he was cleaned up.  Someone else cleans him up while he does nothing.  Why would he want to start doing the work?  Why do we do this?  Why do we brainwash kids this way?  We see them make the faces when they are babies.  We know what the faces mean, why wouldn't we just hold them over the potty and start them off using it?  Sounds ridiculous but there are people that do just that.

It is time for my kid to start using the toilet and stop wearing diapers...not just because I am tired of cleaning him up, tired of wasting money on diapers, or that he is getting closer to four...but for the shear fact that last weekend while we were out of town he brought me a diaper and the wipes and said "change the diaper mommy."   Yeah, if you can demand a new diaper then you are aware of what is happening.  He also likes to go and hide when it is time for the poop.  So he knows.

Potty training isn't something that I am trying out of the blue.  I have attempted numerous times.  I have done the potty charts, the rewards system, peeing on a cheerio, the potty books, the potty movies, naked day....you name it, I have tried it.  I started to offer him anything under the sun to use the potty.  There were a few times where if he would have gotten up and used the potty I would be having some money issues (I imagine that those DJ turntables are pricey...oh, does that seem weird to promise a toddler?  Guess you had to be there for that one).

I am just tired of it.  Hopefully I am not scarring my kid for life, but I am being aggressive this weekend.  Only big boy underwear.  The timer is set for ever 20 minutes and when it goes off, we go into the bathroom...has this worked?  NO. We have went through a lot of clothes and sheets today.  I am not giving up.  I might be drunk before the day is over (vodka helps Mommy not lose it).

Mommyhood, isn't it grand?

Horsing around...

So the other night while browsing the interwebs I ran across a picture of a kid on a hobby horse.  You know, those horse heads on a stick where you get to pretend you are galloping around the house on your swift steed?  I remember my brother and I both got some one Christmas...and in remembering them, I know that my mother made them.  I am crafty, surely I can do this...

I first see what all craft supplies I have...I have several colors of leftover fleece.  Brown from two Halloweens ago (FYI if you are going to be He-Man, you can use brown fleece to make perfect He-Man boots that will go over your shoes and with elastic stay above your calf.  LOL), cream felt from making a giant pair of dice five years ago (because if you are having a Vegas-themed wedding reception, then you need a card box that is made to look like giant dice)...and then the pink fleece I think came from when I bought scraps of fabric to make clothes for the dog.  Yes.  I am that person, but having a kid to deal with has lead me away from that path.  In my defense she is a dachshund and was in the process of being trained for wiener dog racing and the costume contests that sometimes go with events that have the racing...oh, this doesn't defend me?  Oh well.

So I figured the horse could be brown and I could cut the cream fleece into strips for the mane.  I knew that I had polyester fiberfill downstairs and also had a dowel rod from when we redid the closets.

I set off on the interwebs browsing pictures of hobby horses to see how I wanted to draw mine up-- but then I ran across the most perfect horse ever, and it was on a blog with pattern and instructions!

Since I used the pattern and instructions from Mad Mim, I wont show pictures of the process because hers are perfect...but I will show the few things I changed.
There is no way I am skilled enough to do any sort of embroidering whatsoever!  So while I was out, I picked up some large buttons for the eyes (I knew I had smaller buttons at home for the nose).  So .78 cents is all I spent on this besides time!  Above is the finished horse, but you can see the button eyes and nose. --you can also see where I somehow sewed under his jaw weird.  I am not ripping the seam out.  This horse will just have a little character.
I followed the directions pretty closely...except in place of where she uses yarn, I used fleece for the mane.  I just cut into skinny strips.  When it got to the part where I was stuffing the nose and head, that is when I threaded the buttons through.  I added some hot glue behind the buttons after sewing...you know how toddlers are...
Then the other change I did was sew a little seam around the bottom where I threaded a thin ribbon through. I tied that tight around the groove in the dowel and then ran some hot glue around for added security.  Let's face it, I am giving it to a toddler...It is going to be handled pretty rough.

All of the cutting out and most of the sewing happened during his nap.  We ate dinner and then I finished up his horse.  I tell you, it does feel good to see that awestruck look on his face that says "holy cow, mommy is magic!"

Friday, October 5, 2012

Outside Decorations!

I worked on my outside decorations yesterday and thought I would share a few ideas that I have incorporated.

Do you hang lights on the front of your house for Halloween?  If so and you do a spooky graveyard scene do you notice that your house is just not spooky enough?  Well, have I got a solution for you! --Well, if you have a smaller house.  Sure, I would probably do this if I had a two story but it is a little more work.

Two years ago I got an idea and ran with it...and it worked.  I took a trip to the fabric store and bought black fabric and cheese cloth.  I dyed my cheese cloth with different food colorings to get it all dingy (much cheaper than buying it already dingy) and then I cut the black fabric across in zig zags and then ripped them up here and there. I did the same sort of thing with the cheese cloth and also ripped and stretched holes.

--I should tell you that I actually wanted to cover my whole house with fabric and paint it like a Haunted House...think about every episode of Scooby Doo. --Yes,  I am aware that I am slightly nuts.  Anyhow, it was when calculating the costs that the above idea was born.--  

I attached the lights onto my front gutters with gutter clips and then the fabric.  Last year is when I finally got smart and used zip ties to attach the fabric to the light cord and leave the gutter clips on.  So this year was so EASY to stick the lights and fabric on - just a matter of clipping on the gutter!  This doesn't cost much if you watch when the fabric is on sale.  So easy and adds so much Halloween Spookiness!
The fabric idea also came about because I thought my Ghost Windows seemed so alone on the house  --Oh, are you curious about the Ghost Windows?  My house is old and when we bought it, the old storm windows were up in the attic.  I took the old storm windows for my house and painted them with the ghost images on the inside of the window so the image would be protected behind the glass.  I then installed hooks behind the gutters (I believe this area is called the soffit) and chains on the window to hang in front of my real windows. Since weather wasn't going to get behind the glass where I painted, I just used acrylic paint.  (this project only cost a few bucks since I had everything except the hooks and chains!)  

Halloween graveyards are not complete without a spooky fence.  The fences they sell in the Halloween stores are so expensive when you calculate buying enough to mean something.  Yesterday I seen the short little 12" sections that were over $3 each!
I bought these picket fence rolls from Lowe's several years ago.  I paid less than the $20 they are now..but still so much more reasonable than  I just hit them with a little spray paint to make them not so white.  The wire allows you to bend it and make the fence all wonky and rickety.  I use lots of wire and long nails to stake it and everything else into the ground.
Then make sure to stretch that spiderweb everywhere in multiple layers (this kind of holds everything together in the wind).  I need to get some more spiders to throw around.  I LOVE HALLOWEEN!

I think next year I am going to try and make my own gravestones and work on an easier way to get them stuck into the ground.

traveling is tiring...

I really don't think I have recovered yet.  You probably don't care to read about me crabbing about traveling...but here it is, and it is my excuse to lack of blogging.  Seems lately I have been busier and that has taken time away from the blog...coincidence that also fall TV has started up?  Hmm....possibly.

Anyhow, on with my whining...

I flew back home on Monday morning with the toddler.  The morning consisted of waiting in rush hour traffic (I should say Chicago rush hour traffic)...then more waiting at the airport in the long line to check in my suitcase...and then onto age a year waiting in the security line.  SIGH.

I normally like to keep my kid quiet because I know that I do not like to hear other people's kids.  Well, it got to where I didn't care anymore, my kid was tired of the line.  He was yelling "GO GO GO!" and why not?  It was what I was thinking in my head.
This is my kid yelling GO GO GO!
We finally made it to where we could put our things in the bins.  I got out three bins.  I start putting things in the first two, when I got to the third one it already had a laptop in it.  "Excuse me, can you get your own bin please?"  I said to the man who was traveling alone and not trying to also manage a toddler.  "Oh was that yours?"..duh, the TSA Agents do not hand you bins.  Idiot.  I was already pissed at this guy.  So we go through the scanner and over to retrieve our things.  I had three bins, an umbrella stroller, and a backpack.  I pushed my bins as far down as I could go.  The man behind me was in some freaking hurry and he starts pushing his down and popped my last one off the end onto the floor.  I had just grabbed my stuff out of that one so it was empty.  I turn as he is continuing to push and is about to send my laptop onto the floor.  "EXCUSE ME!" I snap.  "Oh, I didn't realize"   - Here is what I would have said had I not had my toddler with me and I had time to be detained by the TSA (because I am sure they are itching to deal with a situation)   "Whatever fucktard.  You realized, you are just an ass. Everyone here has someplace to go.  You are not any more important than anyone else.  If you are running late then that is your own fault.  Don't take it out on others, Asshole."   As I said, I had the toddler so this was just screamed in my head.

It seems never without fail that anytime we fly that our plane is at the very last gate that is furthest away.  So after walking what seemed like miles, we arrived at the gate just in time to walk on the plane for family boarding.  WHEW!  On the plane!

The flight from Chicago to St. Louis is a quick bump up and down so barely enough time to relax...which I really could have used a little relaxing...but the fact that it was morning and a completely full flight...yeah, you could feel the stress on the plane - especially when the flight attendant spilled soda on the man next to me.  the man who was careful to fold his suit jacket over his lap as not to get wrinkled.  The man who had a crisp white shirt on under that jacket.  Yeah, Coke didn't look so great on his sleeve.

Finally we made it and are off the plane.  We wait and wait for our suitcase.  Why?  Because since we were one of the last on, our suitcase got on last...so it got off first and was at the bottom of the pile.  Finally grabbed the suitcase but CRAP!  I ended up cutting my leg on the metal baggage claim belt thingie!  No time to worry about the blood on my leg, I have to hurry to the car so I can get my kid to his speech class.

The walk to the employee lot where the husband's car was parked never seemed so far away as when I was in a hurry.  We made it to the car and rushed to get him to his class.

Did we get to relax after class?  NO.  We were starving so we grabbed a quick lunch and then rushed to go pick up the husband back at the airport.

WHEW!  Now we can rest...or can we?  Need to unpack, do laundry, think about dinner, clean the house (the house keeper must have been off on the weekend too).

Like they say in multiple songs, books, and the bible - there is no rest for the wicked.